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Saturday, February 6, 2010

My journey.

Inspired by all the posts I've been reading about those bloggers out there who are on their own journeys to a healthy body, I thought I'd share my own journey.

From about age 10 on, I was a chubby kid, as proven in my recently shared photo from 1990 here.  In high school, I thinned out a bit but was never really thin, just average.  Here's me circa 1996.  Pretty sure Sonic Youth would've revoked my fan club membership for this photo. So uncool, Alicia.
I had been on the tennis team in high school but was not really very athletic.  It was fun but mostly just a social outlet for me.  I really knew nothing about exercise until I went to college. Once in college, I joined a gym and quickly became a gym rat and started shaping up.  This was great but I became too obsessed and quickly developed an unhealthy relationship with food.  I just didn't get it.  I was starving myself and ended up in the hospital twice because of what the diet pills I was taking did to my heart.  Crazy. Again, so uncool, Alicia.  Here's a pic of me at, oh, about 21.  (Barbara Streisand and I were just kickin' it at the wax museum in Vegas.)  Probably about 125 lbs. Totally appropriate weight but killing myself to stay there.  I didn't know how or what to eat and I was spending sometimes 5 hours at the gym a day.  Did I mention that I worked at Gold's Gym back then, too.  That gym was my whole life in those days.
I soon met my sweet husband and we were married about a year later.  I felt healthy and happy but I still hadn't gotten a grasp on appropriate nutrition. About 140 here on our wedding day (Aug. 2000.)
Right after we were married I started gaining weight.  I got a full-time job, stopped exercising and soon (within 2 months of our wedding) had my drug-addicted baby sister living with us as we tried getting her help.  I was super stressed and I ATE! Within a few months, I had gained about 15 lbs and was at about 155 lbs.  Here I am at about 155.  Firstborn was 2 here. He's now almost 8.  So, about 6 years ago.  I stayed at this weight (minus when I was pregnant) for about the first 5 years of our marriage.  I wanted to lose weight and tried several times unsuccessfully.  I just seemed to always end up back at 155.
After Little Red was born (in Aug. 2005), I was hoping that some of the weight I had gained while pregnant would just melt off but 3-4 months after he was born, I still weighed 180 lbs.  Way too much for my 5'5" frame.  I remember the day this picture (with my Mom) was taken. You wouldn't guess it but I had a girdle on under that sweater, trying to suck it all in.  I felt so defeated.
 
I was SO unhappy. I was taking care of a newborn, suffering from postpartum depression and my oldest had just been diagnosed with autism, which brought along a whole new set of struggles. My life felt really out of control.  And I was in a downward spiral. I had seen the doctor and he had given me a prescription for an anti-depressant.  I wasn't sure about getting it filled so I talked to Thai Guy about it.  He suggested that I exhaust all my other options before deciding to rely on a pill to make me happy.   I have to admit, I was disappointed at first.  I was looking for a quick fix but he was looking out for my best interest.  I'm so thankful that he gave me that gentle push I needed to take control of my life again.  I read Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution and began making small, healthy changes in my eating habits. We then bought a treadmill and I began run/walking while my baby napped everyday.  Within 6 months, I lost 50 lbs and had run my first 5k. I was finally feeling like myself again.  I was smaller than the day we got married! And that felt good! I began making time for me everyday and I was becoming the mommy and wife that I wanted to be.  It was like a revelation!  That was 4 years ago and I have been able to keep my weight between 127-135 lbs since.  Right now, I'm at 132.  This pic is from my half-marathon finish in Sept. (Also, 132 here.)
 
I always have a goal to eat better or tone up or lose a little here or there.  My journey is not over. It continues everyday and I just feel so blessed that I've had the strength to make it to where I am now.  I would have never believed it if you had told 25 year old Alicia that I would be a marathoner at 32.  I'm so thankful for my body and that I have an opportunity to treat it the way it deserves to be treated.  I am healthy and strong and couldn't be happier with the direction I've chosen for my life. Life is good!
 

21 comments:

  1. Alicia, thank you for sharing your story! I think so many of us have struggled with nutrition/weight loss issues over the years because we are never taught the RIGHT way to go about it, and then society is shoving diet pills and quick fixes down our throats everywhere we turn. I'm glad you found a healthy outlet in running. You look fantastic!! congrats!

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  2. Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. It's great that you decided to make healthy changes and are happy with where you are. You look fantastic!

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  3. Alicia, what a beautiful story...thank you so much for sharing. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. You're a great role model for your boys and an inspiration to many! Amazing!

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  4. I loved reading that! Thanks for sharing your story. I related with a lot of what you said. I was always the heavier one out of all of my friends and then after having kids I got the biggest I had in my whole life and then I started running. I hope to get to my goal weight this year. I am such an emotional eater! Running has saved me!

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  5. Beautifully written Alicia! As I go along I realize it's almost "the norm" that we go through life's lumps and bumps and our health/weight reflects that. Congrats on getting to a very excellent place physically and mentally!

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  6. Love this story. Amazing how we all seem to have the SAME but soooo different paths to our running addictions. You are BEAUTIFUL! Hugs to having the photos to prove how FAR you have come.

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  7. Thanks for sharing Alicia. It's amazing to me that there are so many people with eating disorders and/or struggling with what they perceive as a weight issue. I'm glad you pulled through and are healthy now, not to mention beautiful :)

    Your husband gave you great advice!

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  8. So glad that you've made good changes in your attitude about food and exercise and that now you are strong and healthy. What a great family photo!

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  9. Wow! We have a lot of similarities. I am your height and got up to 180 with my second baby. I stayed there for a long time until I had my gall bladder out - major surgery that was totally my fault. Then I lost about 30 pounds and hovered around 150 for a few years. That was good. I started exercising and have never stopped. I then lost another 15. Now I hover between 127 (very rare) and sadly 145. Most of the time I am slightly more than 135. Right now I am at 133 and quite happy but I would like to get down to 127 again. I feel so much better and love wearing clothes which used to simply cover my body. I feel like my kids are in great places health and exercise wise and would not be without my modeling or maybe wouldn't be. I can't take all the credit. It used to worry me when I was big what they thought. TG that is behind me. I will NEVER be that big again. It has been many years now and even though I do gain some it is usually the holidays and I lose. This year I stayed more under control and did not gain as much. Yeah me! Congrats to you.

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  10. What a great story! You and your family are absolutely beautiful. You should be very proud of what you have accomplished.

    I'm about the same height as you and I'm excited to get to around the same weight.

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  11. Thank you for sharing your amazing beautiful journey! It is amazing what having a healthy body can do for us - rather than a pill. You rock!!

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  12. cool to find your blog via another runner's blog. Thanks for sharing your storyl;)

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  13. You are amazing. And you look amazing!! Thanks for sharing this. Every time I read your blog, I am even more excited to meet you in person!

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  14. GREAT story...thanks so much for sharing...

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  15. Alicia - thanks for sharing. It just goes to show, in our society of fast and convenient foods, how easy it is to be un-healthy.

    Running/Racing helps us train our MIND's too, and that is half the battle.

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  16. such an inspiring story! i am so happy that i found your blog. i am a newbie runner and i am loving it. thank you for your inspiration!

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  17. Just wondering how your hubby did in his fight??

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  18. Whoops, I thought you said ti was this past weekend.

    Thanks for your comment about my Belly Blast. What you said about being in my last .2 really hit home. THANKS!

    I left you a bloggy award today.

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  19. What an amazing story! Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it!

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  20. Alicia - thanks for sharing. It just goes to show, in our society of fast and convenient foods, how easy it is to be un-healthy.

    Running/Racing helps us train our MIND's too, and that is half the battle.

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  21. You are amazing. And you look amazing!! Thanks for sharing this. Every time I read your blog, I am even more excited to meet you in person!

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